Mum/Me

Food choices

I have lost a bit of weight recently, through following a new diet and exercise regime, so of course I am spending a lot of time obsessing about food (there's a sticky toffee pudding in my fridge right now this minute which has an expiry date of 24th of June and contains 438 delicious calories). Fortunately, following my post about Food Rules the other day, the lovely people at Pineapple Lounge have got in touch to ask me a bit more about how I choose food for my children, and I'm happy to oblige. They've got quite a few questions so I've just done it as if they are here, interviewing me. With perhaps a plate of biscuits on the table. Mmmmh.... biscuits....

What are your priorities when choosing food for your children? I don't really have priorities except to make sure that they have a varied diet. Arran would happily eat beans on toast every day, which would make life really nice and simple all round, really. When I'm doing my weekly meal plan I try to make sure that they have one fish meal (often at nursery I must admit, as I am a rubbish cooker of fish), one non-meat meal, one meal they love and one new meal each week. It doesn't always work like this, of course. They have snacks and things on top of this and that consists of a mix between biscuits (Oh God I've just remembered there are six mini packs of Oreos in the cupboard.... mmmhhhh) and fruit.

What do you worry about? I feel a bit guilty answering this question as there's not much I worry about, food-wise. I sometimes worry that Arran has a very sweet tooth, but then don't most people? I worry that people will judge my lack of worrying, like they will think I'm a bad mother for letting the children have oreos for a snack or have frosties for breakfast in the holidays.

What do you look for? When shopping, I look for price and I look for 'whole foods' where possible. So I feel most comfortable with a meal that I make entirely from scratch using real, tangible food. If I'm buying prepared food, I look for simplicity of ingredients and no words I don't recognise. And deliciousness. I'm always looking for deliciousness.

What are the most important things to you when it comes to kids and nutrition? I want them to enjoy food, thrive, not be anaemic, and not think about food too much. (Setting a fine example here, as you can see). When they're a little older, I'd like them to enjoy food as a social experience (something I've never managed to achieve as I can't cope with the chew/chat ratio at all) and to enjoy preparing food.

Which brands get it right? I think any food that markets on a wholesome, family type credential lulls me into believing in it. Hovis bread. Walls sausages. Warburtons bread. Innocent can do no wrong in my eyes and their orange juice is actually delicious too.  Robinsons. Green giant. I sometimes buy the supermarket brand of all of these, based on price, but for 'image' I think they've got it spot on.

What do brands do/say that annoy you? I really don't like trendy food for kids - like cheese strings, spaghetti shaped like Bob the builder, yoghurts with Thomas the tank engine on (that we have in our fridge right now... ) It's pretty manipulative to try to make toddlers want your brand by putting preschool TV characters on it. And it's pretty hard being a mummy getting round a supermarket with a one year old who is taking all the cards out your wallet and throwing them on the floor and a three year old who is taking things out of other people's trolleys and trying to eat them. Add the pressure of said three year old begging for aforementioned Thomas yoghurts and you'll find that mummy has no willpower left, hence the fact that they are in our fridge - but I resent it.

Fruit shoots! Argh! The green lidded ones are pure evil for tiny teeth, and I've just found out that the blue lidded ones, while better on the sugar front have aspartame in them, so they will go from occasional purchase to never again, as of now.

Where do treats and puddings fit in? What are the challenges there? Everything in moderation I say. I don't like the idea of 'treats' as far as food goes - definitely not when it comes to kids. I don't want to reward them with food or to hold food up as anything more than just fuel for the body. I know that it will come by itself. I know that Arran loves cake, asks for, begs for and bargains for cake, and DEFINITELY sees it as a treat, but I don't think it's responsible of me to start the process or take part in it. That's not to say I don't give my kids 'treats' - I just don't call them that, and sometimes they're fruit and sometimes they're chocolate.

AND….what do your kids say/think?! Do they comment on their diet? Do they ask for certain things? Do they know about nutrition? I've talked a little to Arran (3) about food that is healthy, and he kind of gets it, but not really. Sometimes I explain it in very simple terms - 'You can only have two biscuits because if you eat lots of biscuits at the same time your tummy will get sick'. I think they talk a bit more about health at nursery (cop out parenting alert!) and just typing this I'm thinking that perhaps I should be doing more, although I'm fairly sure he would have NO concept of health, nourishment, dental health, vitamins and so on. Even telling him to eat so he'll grow up big and strong is a push, as he says he is big and strong already, and that he's nearly 10 and when he's 10 he'll drive the car. He asks for things he particularly wants, but this includes a broad spectrum from 'grumpets' to milk, biscuits, apples and peanut butter.

And Eilidh? Well, she's only 17 months old, and she calls every type of food 'cheese'. When I call them for tea she comes charging through, pointing excitedly at her plate and squealing, 'cheese! cheese!' It's probably our fault for nicknaming her 'Mouse'. So she's probably a little young to understand the value of different types of food, too.

Food rules

I love food and in particular I love eating food. I can't even narrow it down to a particular type of food because I'm not remotely fussy. I strongly dislike bananas and don't go a bundle on liver or kidneys but apart from that, I'll scoff most things. I enjoy cooking and, gradually, I think I'm getting reasonably good at it.

Despite loving food, I'm currently a fairly slim person. I'm not a naturally slim person, though. The fact that I put on five stone (yep...) when pregnant with Arran and a mere three stone when pregnant with Eilidh is a testament to that. I was going to post pictures to illustrate that I'm not lying about this, but actually just looking at pics of me at my blimpiest makes me want to cry. It's taken hard work, exercise and a hell of a lot of sheer willpower to not stay like that forever. Fortunately, I'm extremely stubborn, which works against me in a lot of situations but has its benefits. 'In the zone' my husband calls it, sometimes adding 'You're scary when you're in the zone'.

Since I have my own weight demons, as do a lot of my family and my husband's family, FOOD is a big topic that I think about a lot. Therefore, I've thought extremely hard about how I want to raise my children in terms of their relationship with food. I've come up with a set of rules that I try to live by:

1) No food is off limits. My children have always been allowed to eat some of anything that is on offer. My one caveat to that is that I restricted salt intake for them as babies and still keep a good eye on salt content. I think human nature makes people want what they can't have, and so I think forbidding any kind of food, however unhealthy, must surely make it seem golden. They can have a taste of anything sugary, salty, spicy, whatever. Everything in moderation. As they get older, I aim to help them understand that some foods are less healthy and so we eat them less often.

2) What's on offer is what's on offer. I cook a healthy meal for us most nights, and it's served up to everyone. Since Eilidh has been so easy to wean (wanting to eat proper food from a young age) it's been a dream as, apart from taking the edge off anything spicy using yoghurt, we all eat the same. If they don't like it - that's too bad. There are no alternatives offered. It's really hard sometimes if they don't seem to eat much, as I hate the thought of them going to bed with hungry tummies. Sometimes I'll offer a bit of bread and butter for 'supper' later if they really haven't eaten much, or sometimes I'll cook something I know they like, if, for example, they've been unwell and I really need to see them eat a big plateful.

3) Nobody has to clear their plate. I was raised by parents who grew up in post-war austerity. They were very much of the 'eat it all up' mentality, which is very typical of their generation. I do disagree with it, though, as I think that children are the best judges of their appetites. They know when they are full and they stop eating. Teaching them from an early age to over-ride their innate ability to assess when they're full doesn't seem sensible to me. My children are allowed to eat as much or as little as they like. It seems crazy to assume that I would be able to put the exact amount they need onto a plate in front of them.

4) Sensitive spoon feeding. Tying in with 3, I think that it's very, very easy when spoonfeeding a baby to feel tempted to scrape the bowl clean and get that last mouthful into them. Tricks like 'here comes the airplane!' spring to mind. If a child needs to be cajoled or tricked into eating, I reckon they probably don't need to eat and it's us that has the problem with the leftover food, not them.

5) Pudding is not a treat. Pudding is part of the meal, not a treat. This is for two reasons. Firstly, I don't want to help develop the attitude that sweet food is a treat. I'm sure my children can come to that conclusion on their own, but I don't want to reinforce it from an early age by saying that they can only have it if they eat up all their dinner. I also don't want to encourage my children to eat more than their fill just to get to 'the good stuff'. I often put pudding out at the same time as the main course and my kids will dip between both.

6) Food is not a reward. One of my worst 'food demons' is using food as comfort. Oh a big bag of crisps and some dip will cheer me right up. I've had a rubbish day so I need a bar of chocolate. As far as possible, I'm trying not to let my children associate food with feelings. I never give them food to cheer them up. I also aim, where possible, not to use it as a bribe or a reward. I'll admit that we did stoop to smarties for potty training, but on a day-to-day basis, when wee-soaked carpets are not the alternative, I never try to get my children to do something in exchange for food.

So there you have it - my food rules. Of course, I'm a (very) fallible human being and there are certainly times when some or all of them go out of the window, but they are what I aspire to. I also have no problem whatsoever with someone coming to my house and spoon feeding my children or offering them sweeties as a reward for being good. I'm not naive enough to think that the whole world is going to operate a certain way and I can only create rules that I want to live by, not that anyone else will care about.

You might, also, totally disagree with me. These are only my own opinions and I'm sharing them here as food for thought.